This is my fiftieth post. It’s taken me a little over four months and, at the time of writing, the blog has been viewed almost fifteen thousand times across more than one hundred countries. Small fry for some but amazing for me.
There really would be very little point in writing it if it wasn’t read so, as a token of my appreciation, I’ve written you a thank you letter.
I hope you don’t mind me referring to you under the collective term of ‘Readers’? Unfortunately I don’t know all your proper names and calling you ‘Followers’ feels a bit cult like (see what I did there). Obviously in private I call you my ‘Blogettes’ but that’s just between us.
The blog is important to me and I really do enjoy the challenge writing provides. It has certainly helped me to understand and deal with some of my personal challenges in a way that works for me.
It’s not a ‘Secret Diary’ though. I want my posts to be read, liked and commented on. That may be a little narcissistic (I get called this by one of you in feedback provided for virtually every post. Mother you really should be more supportive) but that interaction is such an important part of why I do this. If you didn’t take the time to engage I probably wouldn’t do it so I really am grateful every time you do.
To date I have written two posts that have been read many more times than any of the others.
Anxiety, Depression and Me has generated some incredibly powerful feedback. It’s even led to me having coffee with a couple of you to talk about shared experiences. I’m not sure how much I helped you but our little chats really meant a lot to me and I won’t forget them.
My attempt at erotic fiction is, by some distance, my most popular post. This is despite the fact that only a handful of you have ever admitted to reading it, none of you dared share it and I only promoted whilst hiding behind the sofa. As something of an experiment I also posted this one on a couple of established sites specialising in this kind of thing. Across three forums it’s been read more than 14,000 times. Sex sells. I have an idea for another one but we’ll see.
It’s a source of pain that my next two most popular posts haven’t been read by those they are dedicated to. The letter I wrote to my Dad, on the anniversary of his death, and a birthday message to my gardener were liked by you but will probably remain unseen by them. This makes me indescribably sad.
There are actually the beginnings of two novels among my posts. If I’m being honest with you I’d really like to actually finish one and be a full time writer. Please don’t tell anyone else! Unless you know a literary agent, someone who works at a publishing house or are prepared to invest in me financially while I write it.
Forty nine posts! Have any of you read them all? I’d love to know.
As alluded to earlier, your feedback is always welcome. Whether you write to me on the Blog, through one of the other social media platforms, directly through email or, god forbid, speak to me about it when you see me, please don’t be silent.
Positive feedback is wonderful and is probably the fuel that keeps me going. Somewhere along the line I seem to have managed to relate to a few of you in a number of different ways. I consider this a responsibility of mine to treat sensitively, even though I often feel inadequately prepared to be what you need me to be.
I definitely get a lot of the other kind of feedback as well. Although often cutting I can appreciate the words used in some of it. My favourite to date was the following;
“I’d rather pull a daisy chain of razor blades from my arse than read any more of this drivel”.
A decent number of you seem to enjoy calling me a c*nt as well. Mainly those of you that are from the United States for some reason. Luckily my reader from Timor-Leste (wherever that is) loves me so he/she balances out the negativity.
When I write anything at all you are my muse. I see your faces (maybe some more than others), I imagine how you will react when you read it, I hope it touches you in the way it’s supposed to. There really would be no words without you. I genuinely mean that.
I know that some of you often help promote my posts by sharing them with your networks. Please can you do that with this one as I’d like to make sure this letter reaches everyone who’s ever read any of my posts.
As long as you keep reading, I’ll keep writing. I’d like to write more fiction, more on the topic of mental health and more general nonsense. Most of all though, I want to make you smile. If I don’t do that enough then feel free to give me a virtual Chinese burn.
Thanks for reading. I appreciate it more than pretty much anything.
All my love.