Tinder profile…

Tinder profile.

One not very careful owner. Missed a few services down the years and a lot of my parts are hanging by a thread. The arm that transfers cans of Carlsberg Special Brew to my mouth still works perfectly though.

I’m certainly not a spring chicken, an autumn chicken would be more accurate. In fact I’m more of a scraggly hen whose laying days are long gone.

I do have a few hobbies. I enjoy lying down, grinding my teeth and ignoring the cat.

Would like to meet a hot chick (minimum 9/10) who’s not remotely like minded. They must have their own house, as I lost mine the other week in a game of cards.

It would be helpful if you have a pilots licence as well as there is a small chance (when I say small I mean the big kind of small) that we may need to leave the country at short notice.

I’m an even newer man than the old new man in that I don’t believe in equality of the sexes. It’s far better that we’re really clear from the outset on the division of responsibilities in the relationship. I do nothing, while you, my lucky lady do, everything.

Please don’t be offended if I don’t get back to you following your application. It will either be because you’re not hot enough or because the authorities have finally discovered the bodies I buried in my old back garden.

Would you swipe right or left? Left means you want me. Right means you want me even more.

Some further posts on the subjects of love and dating can be accessed through the links below:

Dear X…

Fifteen word story…

James and Sarah…

Top five dating disasters…

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