This is the one hundredth post on my blog. For me this is an important milestone and it feels necessary to mark it by writing something significant.
There lies the problem, I’m struggling at the moment to know what to write about. In some ways the blog has ‘jumped the shark’ these last couple of months. Although a few recent posts have been well received, and recorded decent numbers of views, I don’t think I’ve done myself, or any readers, justice for quite a while.
Without wishing to blow my own trumpet too loudly, I think I’m a better writer than I’ve shown so far. I don’t necessarily mean ‘better’ in terms of word choice or sentence construction. It’s more about the authenticity of the writing and how courageous I allow myself to be during the whole of the creative process. I want my words to mean something, even if the grammar is sometimes a little inaccurate.
It could be that the blog, in its current form anyway, is not the correct platform for me to produce the kind of writing I’d be happier with.
I do have one idea I’m toying with in that I’d adopt more of a diary format for my posts next year. The challenge of writing this way and still entertaining and engaging readers does appeal. I’m well aware that, if I am to achieve this, readers will deserve more from me than a simple description of whatever I did on any particular day.
If I do decide to do this, it still could go either way, then I owe it to myself to stop using the blog as a diversionary tactic from the fear I have of trying to write a real life book. This is what I’d really like to do. There I said it. Don’t tell anyone else.
One thing I think I will do is pull some of my better posts, plus some as yet unpublished ones, together as some form of ebook. The idea of those I know and love reading a book of mine whilst on the toilet appeals greatly for some unknown reason.
I’d obviously make this free to download but might ask for a voluntary contribution to be donated to charities supporting sepsis and mental health issues. Many of my existing posts are inspired directly, or indirectly, as a result of these illnesses so it seems appropriate for me to try and raise a little money on their behalf. This wouldn’t count as the book I’d like to write though, I wouldn’t let myself off that easily.
I started the blog because I knew I was in trouble and needed to find a way to communicate in a way I could feel comfortable with. Sometimes I’ve been able to be direct in describing how things are. Other times I write unrelated content just so, in my weird way, I can connect with people and yet still hide myself away. Always I write because I want it to be read and for people to take something from it.
Although not huge in number the blog has some really loyal supporters. A few of these are family members, several more are close friends but the majority don’t know me at all. It absolutely astounds me that they take the time to read and share my posts. Let’s be honest, the blog doesn’t generate huge numbers of readers so, without them, I’d never achieve the fix of likes and/or comments the needy numpty in me craves.
If you’re reading this then please know how important you are to me. You’ve just read words that I’ve written and nobody made you do it. How amazing is that! How amazing are you!