The Eye of the Tiger…

The Eye of the Tiger…

I am the eye of the Tiger. I’m not a poxy nose of the Tiger or even one of its ‘go faster’ stripes. I’m not even the other eye, I am THE eye of the Tiger and don’t you forget it.

There’s a song about me I’ll have you know. It was written by a band called Survivor. I like their tune and the lyrics but they’ve obviously never actually met me or they’d need to rename themselves; ‘Didn’t Survive’.

Apparently some boxer has been making out the song is about him and there is even a movie chronicling his life. I sauntered down to my local Blockbuster the other day and rented a Betamax video (if you’re under thirty years of age you might need to utilise the encyclopaedia britannica or another less well known reference tool to look up Blockbuster and/or Betamax) so I could check out his deception for myself.

To be fair, it wasn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen although it did contain a number of startling inaccuracies:

1. The lead character appears to be a human so therefore does not have the eye of a tiger. He, in fact, has the eye of the human. How anybody failed to spot this upon the movies original release is beyond comprehension.

2. His name is Rocky which is an appropriate name for a Dog, Horse, Gerbil or, at a stretch, a Cockatoo. No Tiger worth its salt would have Rocky as a moniker so if he’s trying to make movie watchers believe he is a big cat then he should have given himself a more fitting name; e.g. Timothy.

3. He appears to be in love with a girl with a boys name. Adrian is a girl in this movie which is very confusing. In real life Tigers deal with anything perplexing by eating it. The fact that Rocky ends up marrying Adrian proves, without a shadow of a doubt, that he does not really have the Eye of the Tiger as, she’d have been mauled to death in seconds if he did.

There’s some lyrics in the song that go:

“It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight

Risin’ up to the challenge of our rival”

Whilst it is true that I used to enjoy a good scrap, these days I’m equally happy playing golf and fraternising with adult movie stars (note: My lawyer instructed me to insert the word ‘allegedly’ in the last sentence but as I’m Tiger’s eye I know what I saw!).

Also, I don’t really have any rivals these days . Unless, that is, you count that scoundrel the Honey Monster who continues to peddle his Sugar Puffs cereal in an attempt to lure away those who enjoy a wholesome bowl of Frosties.

It’s probably time I bid you farewell. I’ll leave you with my favourite words from Eye of the Tiger. Let them guide you forward so you too can one day have a song written about a part of your anatomy.

“So many times, it happens too fast

You trade your passion for glory

Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past

You must fight just to keep them alive”

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