I last wrote to you around a year ago. At the time you and I were as close as Torvill and Dean. We’d perhaps not reached the pinnacle of our relationship, our Bolero phase, but we were certainly enjoying our equivalent of their Barnum routine.
We spent so much time together back then. I shared my innermost thoughts and feelings. You introduced me to weird and wonderful new ways of communicating. Without you I’d never have met my new friends; ‘Search Engine Optimisation’ or ‘Backlink’. Granted I’d probably never have made the acquaintance of that scoundrel ‘Bounce Rate’ either, but it’s definitely been more good than bad.
Although the two of us were generally at our happiest during those hours before the ‘publish’ button was pressed, we didn’t mind when others joined us to see what we’d been up to.
People came from all over the world. Right from the earliest days of our relationship we were popular in the USA and here in the UK. Over the last year we’ve also built large numbers of visitors from India, Australia, Canada and Russia.
I know you like the large numbers, as they’re good for your Google page ranking, but I retain a fondness for the single visitors we’ve had from countries such as; Uzbekistan, Madagascar, Greenland and Timor-Leste. I like to imagine who they are, what their lives are like and what led them to us dear Blog.
Do you remember how embarrassed we were when we realised our most popular post was an amateurish attempt at erotic fiction? All that time writing about serious issues, only to see the reader statistics those posts generated blasted out of the water by a clumsy tale of two strangers who have sex after meeting on a train. Sex sells! Who knew…
So how did it come to this? All of a sudden we just stopped hanging out. There was no big argument. None of those ‘creative differences’ you hear about. It just felt like we’d reached the end of whatever road we’d been on.
Our recent issues have been much more about me than you. I’m the one that upped and left. At first I thought I wanted to see other Blogs, I even tried a few, but none compared with you.
I really am happy for you that you’ve gone from strength to strength since I left. You’ve had your most popular ever day, week and month since I last contributed anything. That’s great, it really is.
At the moment I liken myself to Robbie Williams in the immediate aftermath of his first departure from Take That. Not the global superstar he eventually became, but the alcoholic hanging out backstage at Oasis concerts in a desperate attempt to obtain the type of credibility he then thought he wanted.
Maybe I’ll find my own path without you but, at the moment, I’m doing my own version of trudging about in the mud at Glastonbury looking for something I might never find.
Anyway, I hope you’re not too upset with me for leaving you the way I did? I’d understand if you never wanted to see me again. I know I need you more than you need me. It’s become clear that I’m the UK to your European Union. Funny, I always thought that if we ever did split it would be the other way round. I guess we all make mistakes sometimes.