The Dating Game…

The Dating Game…

I went on a date with Erica,

we barely had anything to say.

It came as a bit of a surprise,

when we ended up rolling in hay.


I went on a date with Sharon,

she was three feet taller than me.

Love was never to blossom,

but she made a great cup of tea.


I went on a date with Veronica,

who cheated with my very best friend.

A bullet dodged with that one,

she murdered him in the end.


I went on a date with Andrea,

she insisted on paying her way.

So I ordered a caviar sandwich,

as she nibbled a single milk tray.


I went on a date with Henrietta,

a posh girl with a rich old man.

She liked that I was common,

and picked her up in a van.


I went on a date with Jack,

see if it changed my luck.

But it just wasn’t right for me,

men are boring as f*ck.


I went on a date with a Pony,

had to be very discreet.

We went for a romantic dance (Foxtrot 😳),

but she definitely had two left feet.


I went for a date with a Trumpet,

thought it would at least be a hoot.

Turned out this shiny instrument,

was only out for my loot.


I went for a date with Myself,

wore myself down in the end.

Should never have said yes though,

I came across a total bell end.


I wanted to date Suzanne,

but she said “no, not on your nelly”.

Instead of going rollerblading with me,

she stayed in watching the tele.


I went for a date with you,

but didn’t hold out much hope.

Twenty years and two kids later,

Without you I really can’t cope.


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