I wasn’t sure about posting this one. It was actually written a week or so ago. Although it’s obviously drawn from personal experiences, feelings and emotions I would say it’s more of a semi autobiographical piece.
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I’m Scared…
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I’m scared all the time,
living a life full of fear.
This virus attacks the body,
but it can also poison the mind.
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My days are spent waiting,
for things to turn horribly wrong.
At night my dreams show me,
the pain of what is to come.
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I had some problems before,
took medicine to help me escape.
This time there’s just nothing,
but darkness taking ahold.
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It’s hard for me to admit this,
but all I can do is survive.
The guilt will be along later,
I should be better than this.
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These words are self indulgent,
but perhaps you feel it too.
Maybe by sharing my fears,
you see you’re not all alone.
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“It’s hard for me to admit this, but all I can do is survive.”
I believe this, in reality, is all we can ever actually do. It just gets disguised in “normal” times, and I think everyone everywhere is struggling to come to terms with a truth that has been laid so bare. Hang in there. Stay well.
Thanks. I think this line was written (sometimes I only think I know where my words come from) as a reminder that sometimes it can be difficult to be continuously exposed to all those doing amazing/wonderful things during this crisis. Of course we shouldn’t stop telling those stories but for those just ‘surviving’ they can cause guilt and further distress. It’s a balance…
Stay well.